I have long stated that i don't want to become that guy...that parent that we all hate.
"My kid is sooooo smart."
"Little junior is so big for his age!"
"I can't believe that he is turning over so soon."
First things first. While it's not clear that they were wrong, my parents thought I was retarded until I was three. The main reason is that I had a large head and couldn't hold it up. Little did they know that I was just preparing for a life of self centered egotistical escapades, thus the big head. But I digress.
I have tried to not pay attention to how big or small Chickpea is. I don't care what the milestones are for her. I couldn't care less what "she is supposed to be doing" at three months. That was the theory anyway.
All I can think about is the mutant sized cousin that she has. You see, at three months, she is slightly longer (24.5 inches) than her cousin was WHEN HE WAS BORN! That's right, he was a 23.5 inch monster. She was born two weeks early, was a little light, and so I am worried. I don't want to be, but I am. I have even caught myself loitering on those stupid growth chart sites plugging in her height, weight and head circumference hoping to see something that will make me feel better.
Which brings me to a thought point: is all we care about as parents that we have someone in a presumed position of authority (doctor, child psychiatrist, etc) to tell us good things about our kid? I found myself at the pediatrician the other day pining to hear that my little girl was very precocious, or growing very fast. Tell me anything, damn woman, anything! Alas, all I got was a lollipop. At least it wasn't a total bust of a trip.
So now I am turning into that guy. I speak with my friends I made during Lamaze class, and ask leading questions to find out how big their kid is, or what they are up to developmentally. I have to get a grip. The big challenge is that since Chickpea doesn't do much other than pee, poop, eat, cry and sleep, it's tough to see progress, except in her volume (of all of the above). Do other modern fathers have this issue?